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The Globe-Guardian
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Publisher, Editor and Copyboy.............................................................................R.E. Berg

Reality Reporter..................................................................................................M. Hutton

Washington Bureau Chief................................................................................Peter Rather

Asian Bureau Chief.........................................................................................Dan Jennings

European Bureau Chief...............................................................................Charlie Lunden

State Correspondent................................................................................Barbara Cronkite

Interstate Correspondent............................................................................Walter Walters

National Correspondent...........................................................................Diane Donaldson

International Correspondent............................................................................Sam Sawyer

Political Correspondent.............................................................................E. Pluribus Unum

Science Correspondent...........................................................................Arthur C. Heinlein

Entertainment Correspondent.........................................................................Rona Rivers

Aviation Correspondent........................................................................................Sky King

Sports Correspondent.....................................................................Jake "The Blur" Stein

Technology Correspondent.............................................................................Bryce Lynch

Alien Life Form Correspondent..............................................................Gordon Shumway

Religism Editor......................................................The Late Very Left Rev. Oral Groove

AnswerMan..............................................................................................................Himself

Huckster, Shyster & Pettifogger, SC..........................................................Legal Counsel

Professional Spokesman...............................................................................Rudy Tutetoot

Bill Gannon....................................................................................................Harry Morgan

Pete Porter.........................................................................................................Bill Gannon

Sherman Potter...................................................................................................Pete Porter