Now Available in Paperback!
The Hereafter Handbook:
Humanity's Final Hope?
The Hereafter Handbook,
conceived and written in the spirit of the late, Very Left Rev. Oral Groove, has been
published on Amazon.
The book is a
semi-serious preview of what human beings will encounter upon passing from this
Earth and going on to their rewards. The information contained was dictated the
author claims, by the Supreme Being -- not unlike many previous
Rev. Groove, founder and pastor of the
Church of the Rotate Your Envelope Stock (CRYES), was a champion of religious
tolerance. He died a little more than a
decade ago under mysterious circumstances. Following its founder's untimely
demise, CRYES suspended its active ministries. The essence of his church remains
preserved on the Globe-Guardian site as a perpetual memorial.
Handbook aims at extending the existence of the Human Race, which
appears to be waffle-stomping it way to extinction. The book
also provides detailed information on Afterlife conditions and many of the
practices the still living may adopt (or avoid) to better position themselves at
Eternity's starting gate.
Excerpts from the handbook's contents
The Universal Truth
If the major religions of the physical world you left
behind got one thing right, it is the existence of a Supreme Being, the creator
of all things, including life in all its forms, right down to reality television
Think about all the attributes assigned to God –
omnipresent, omnipotent, infinite, eternal, glorious, wondrous, and, of course,
totally awesome. All of these apply to The Universe, surrounding us, supporting
us, stretching beyond our vision and comprehension.
Mind over Matter
Even as you become familiar your new circumstances, your
soul is being evaluated. Prior to assignment within the Universal Mind, your
continuing consciousness will undergo an imperceptible and virtually
instantaneous series of entry assessment tests. Don't worry, you can't cram for
them, and no one fails – completely, anyway.
Are you ready for the best job you could possibly imagine
on either side of life? The Universe is in a unique position to provide a
workplace unmatched by anything ever experienced in the physical world – even
by those who bask in the sunny clime of the American economy's top one percent.
new benefits package includes anytime work hours, generous leisure time and
boundless travel opportunities.
Put aside all the "skills" you
acquired as a chronic cell phone typist. You won't need them here. You thought
you had instant messaging in your physical world, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
you need to do in this this domain is think. Yes, we're talking about what was
commonly known, back on Earth, as telepathy.
about saying "howdy" to anyone you left behind on Earth. All forms of
communication with the living were absolutely and permanently severed when your
body died. You cannot call them, text them, tweet them or leave a message on
Facebook. All you can do as a soul is observe them.
Frequently Asked Questions
worship and its frequent companion, prayer, are strictly practices of the
living. Because The Universe has no direct interaction with the Human Race, it
does not need to be praised, adored, exalted or even obeyed. The only
expectation of souls is that they contribute to the Universal Mind.
Let's Get Quizzical
God Only Knows...
A. Everything there is to know about everything
B. Some of the things thee are to know about everything
C. Where the time goes
D. What I'd be without you
Handbook is available directly from Amazon for all versions of the Kindle
and may also be viewed on many other devices, including iPad, iPhone, PC and Mac, as well as
Android and Windows cell phones. To order or get more information, go the Amazon