Volume XI
Issue 7
July 2008
Copyright
© 1998-2008
The Globe-Guardian
All Rights Reserved
ISSN: 1525-6316
Use
Only as Directed
The Globe-Guardian staff of hundreds want you to know as much as possible about what you
are about to ingest.
The Globe-Guardian aspires to be an effective mental decay preventive publication which may one day be of significant value when read as intended, in a conscientiously applied program of humorous hygiene and regular web site visits. The Globe-Guardian has been shown to reduce the formation of sluggishness above the neckline, although it has not been proven to have a therapeutic effect on periodontal disease.
ACTIVE INGREDIENTS: satiricalium flouroabsurdity (0.65%)
OTHER INGREDIENTS: humorycerin, hydrated parody silica, spooforbitol, tetrasodium funophosphate, kidcopolymer, jokium lauryl sulfate, jestulose gum, fooliate hydroxide, buffooncarrageenan, clowntartrazine, qwerty uiop, potassium sorbate (a mold inhibitor), partially hydrogenated soybean oil, lecithin, monosodium glutamate, FD&C Green No. 33, artificial texture, artificial flavor, and a peculiar but harmless odor
USE: helps protect against brainrot
DIRECTIONS: Read thoroughly at least once a month (best if eyes open) or as directed by a physician or parole officer. Children: read only a paragraph size amount under the supervision of a qualified adult, followed by brushing and rinsing to minimize swallowing.
WARNING: Keep out of the reach of humorless individuals. In case of accidental ingestion by the terminally grim, seek professional assistance or contact the nearest Humor Control Center immediately.
Now with macro-cleansing crystals, for an incredibly smooth and shiny mind.