Stoooopid

Volume XI
Issue 5
May 2008

Here, we present expressions you can use whenever the need arises to call the intelligence of your friends, relatives and bitter enemies into question. They've been gleaned and cleaned (when necessary) from a variety of sources, so you've probably heard many of them before. Some are even original.

I Really Hate to Say
You're Stupid, But...

Your mental elevator doesn't go to the top floor.

I don't think you are playing with a full deck.

You don't have both oars in the water.

Your lights are on, but nobody's home.

When you fell out of the stupid tree, you must have hit every branch on the way down.

If brains were bird droppings, you would have a really clean cage.

You are a few clowns short of a circus.

Hey, with a couple more fries, you could be a Happy Meal.

You must be the result of a top secret experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

You are two beers shy of a six-pack.

You're dumber than a box of hair.

With a few points added to your IQ, you could be a clam.

If you kept your brains in your ass, you'd have room to be more than a moron.

You do not have all your corn flakes in one box

Your casserole is missing a few peas.

Your wheel is spinning, but the hamster's dead.

Your cheese has slid off your cracker.

Your cap has been snaffled.

Your body may be by Fisher, but your mind is by Mattel.

Did you forget to pay your brain bill?

Your antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

Your belt doesn't go through all the loops.

You're proof that evolution CAN be reversed.

Your receiver is off the hook.

Your skylight has a leak.

Your slinky is kinked.

You've got too much yardage between your goal posts.

You're doomed to be a pacifist in the battle of wits.

You may have a photographic memory, but your lens cover is Super Glued on your camera.

You are a prime candidate for natural de-selection.

Your teapot lid is cracked.

You're almost half smart.

Don't think too much, or you'll void your warranty.

Say, you've really sharpened your sleeping skills.

You were born a day late, and nothing's changed.

You must have evolved from the shallow end of the gene pool.

You were born stupid and built to last.

You're broadcasting static.