Million Dollar Questions

Volume XI
Issue 5
May 2008

We thought that the questions currently being used on ABC's "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?" are far too difficult to give the average player a reasonable chance at winning the top prize. They are also taxing the minds of home viewers to the limit, making them feel stupid, frustrated and angry. That's bad for ratings, which is bad for ABC. And that, my friends, is bad for America.

In an effort to alleviate this problem, we have prepared a set of questions we propose for the show. We invite you to take the test. Of course, your prize will be a whole lot of nothing, but it will be good practice in your quest to become an actual contestant on the real show. We don't want to set you up to fail, so here's a hint: always pick "D." In case you are still not quite clear on how to make your selections, we have included other visual clues to guide you. Good luck.

Million Dollar Questions

$100 Who are you?
A. Him B. Her C. You D. Me

$200 Who am I?
A. Him B. Her C. Me D. You

$300 Where do you live?
A. Here B. There C. Everywhere D. Home

$500 When you fall, you go in what direction?
A. Left B. Right C. Up D. Down

$1,000 What are you are doing when you are "breathing in"?
A. Shouting B. Sweating C. Exhaling D. Inhaling

$2,000 What is another name for "pancake"?
A. Tire Jack B. Crackerjack C. Just Jack D. Flapjack

$4,000 The airline industry is based on what mode of transportation?
A. Air Duct B. Air Conditioner C. Air Pump D. Airplane

$8,000 New York City is located in what state?
A. Newfoundland B. New Caledonia C. New Zealand D. New York

$16,000 What are those fluffy looking things in the sky called?
A. Cloths B. Clowns C. Clods D. Clouds

$32,000 What device can be most easily used to remotely control channels on your television set?
A. Hammer B. Tuning Fork C. Vibrator D. Remote Control

$64,000 What occupation is most likely to involve a fire hose?
A. Librarian B. Guidance Counselor C. Prostitute D. Firefighter

$125,000 Humans and potatoes have what body parts in common?
A. Ears B. Lips C. Ribs D. Eyes

$250,000 What is the main component of sea water?
A. Sharks B. Salt C. Vitamin C D. Water

$500,000 What current television game show features the most obnoxious master of ceremonies?
A. Family Feud B. The Price is Right C. Wheel of Fortune D. Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?

$1 MILLION Do you really want to be a millionaire?
A. No B. Maybe C. Not Sure D. Yes

OK, maybe that was still a little tough. Here are the correct answers:
$100 D $200 D $300 D $500 D $1,000 D $2,000 D $4,000 D $8,000 D $16,000 D
$32,000 D $64,000 D $125,000 D $250,000 D $500,000 D $1 Million D

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