Upgrade Now!

Volume XI
Issue 7
July 2008

Upgrade Now!

It brings me overwhelming joy to announce that the Church of the Rotate Your Envelope Stock has released its very first upgrade.

Yes, CRYES 2.0 is now available for immediate distribution. Current users of CRYES 1.0 need not fear, they will automatically receive CRYES 2.0. Use of the original version is not necessary to qualify for the new release.

CRYES 2.0 is completely backward-compatible with CRYES 1.0. All previously selected beliefs and deities will be backed up and securely stored for possible instant restoration, although I don't expect that such an action will ever become necessary.

While the improvements incorporated by CRYES 2.0 may not be apparent on the surface, the upgrade changes are substantial and abundant. The new version replaces our entire CRYES 1.0 Pantheon and Dogma structures. All gods and goddesses are now bigger, stronger and ready for unlimited power expansion attachments. Our Dogma elements are now fully modular, each capable of standing alone or being tightly interlocked with any number of other elements to form a personal, all-powerful belief system controlled by a user-friendly common interface.

Add to these enhancements full integration with the latest versions of Netscape Navigator and Microsoft Internet Explorer, plus 24/7 theological support. Any user of CRYES 2.0 who ever has a problem with, or a question about, any of our deities or beliefs need only send an e-mail, and one of our helpful support staff members will respond within 30 days, guaranteed.

The cost of both the upgrade and a full new version is the same -- absolutely free. Now, who could say "no" to such an incredible offer at a price like that?

What must you do to take advantage of this fabulous upgrade? Not a thing. By opening this page, you have already accepted the licensing agreement and become a spiritually satisfied new user of CRYES 2.0. Thanks.

Until next month, bless you for coming to CRYES, and may your preferred deities be always watching your back.

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