High Holy Day of Optional Observation

Volume XI
Issue 5
May 2008

High Holy Day of Optional Observation

Greetings, fellow celebrants of Spring.

Spring is traditionally a time of renewal, a time for planting the tiny seeds of bigger things to come. Like Zucchini.

Coincidentally, my attention has been drawn to the fact that the Church of the Rotate Your Envelope Stock is sadly lacking in official church holidays. Accordingly, I have decided to blatantly steal "Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us," from Seinfeld and declare it to be the first CRYES High Holy Holiday of Optional Observation.

Festivus has its roots in the humble home of Frank and Estelle Costanza. While the details of this everyman's holiday were not fully revealed in Episode 158, we know that Festivus involved an undecorative aluminum pole, Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength.

CRYES will optionally observe this annual holiday on the second Thursday following the first Friday in May. The holiday, thus, will arrive late this year, not occurring until May 20, giving everyone ample opportunity to prepare.

Although Festivus will symbolize nothing in particular, it will give friends and family an additional opportunity to get together, once the weather gets nice. Airing of grievances is recommended prior to consumption of alcoholic beverages, including the ceremonial sip of Miller Genuine Draft. Suggested feats of strength include a friendly thumb wrestling tournament. CRYES proposes expanding the celebration into a full day of activities, adding such events as offspring achievement comparisons, sports team bashing and tire rotation relay races.

Decorations may pose a problem on this, the first year, of CRYES Festivus celebration. Participants are encouraged to improvise as best they can until the commercial world catches up with the event. In future years, of course, yard decorations should be in place by no later than mid-January and remain on display until late October.

Needless to say, Festivus may be observed or ignored to whatever extent desired by CRYES members or non-members alike. Associated activities and decorations are completely up to the celebrant.

CRYES will hold its first Mesonauta Festivus fish fry on the following Friday. Black tie optional.

Bless you for coming to CRYES, and may your God, Goddess, Gods or Goddesses be always watching your back.

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