Every Tom, Dick and Harry
This trio has been with us for a long time Your teenage, peer-pressured self may even
have been quite frequently admonished by your parents that "you don't have to be like
every other Tom, Dick and Harry."
QuestionMan: I know my eyesight isn't what is used
to be, but shouldn't I be seeing three of you?
Every Tom, Dick and Harry: Actually, you are, in a way. By the very nature
of our generic existence, we are all one and the same. I am simultaneously Every Tom, Dick
and Harry. If you find the concept confusing, feel free to call me Tom, Dick or Harry.
QM: OK, Dick. When did you first realize that you
had no real identity?
ETDH: Oh, fairly early in life. We came from a family of eight. As
triplets, we were often misaddressed by our parents. Eventually, any of us answered to any
of our names. That made things a lot easier on everyone involved.
QM: Wasn't that a problem when one of you
misbehaved?
ETDH: When we were very young, we became very upset when one of us was
blamed for something another had done. It was nearly impossible to establish the real
culprit because we were identical in appearance and dress. As we grew older and more
sophisticated in the arts of deception, we came to realize that our interchangeability
could be as much a blessing as a curse.
QM: How's that?
ETDH: Well, knowing that we had only a one in three chance of being held
responsible or our actions, we became quite naughty. Mom and Dad didn't have time for
lengthy investigations into our misdeeds, so they simply punished the first one of us they
encountered. It wasn't long before they were citing us as bad examples for our siblings to
follow. I think I was 10 years old when I first heard my mother scold my sister, Edna, by
saying "Stop that! Do you want to be like Tom, Dick and Harry?"
QM: So, a new set of obscure celebrities was born.
ETDH: Exactly. We are, of course, known by a variety of other
appellations.
QM: Such as?
ETDH: In everyday conversations, for example, I, or we, are frequently
called "Joe Blow." Politicos often refer to us as "John Q Public" or
"John Q Citizen." Literary types like to think of us as "Everyman." We
have made many courtroom appearances in "John Doe" investigations.
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