Volume XI
Issue 5
May 2008

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The Globe-Guardian
All Rights Reserved

ISSN: 1525-6316

The Other Woman

May's interview subject is, in many ways, the antithesis of April's "Significant Other." Every woman's worst nightmare, the Other Woman, may also be seen as "Insignificant Other."

QuestionMan: Welcome. I know you were hesitant about coming out in the open like this. Thanks for agreeing to talk to us.
The Other Woman: Yes, I confess to being a little nervous about this. When you're the Other Woman, you tend to become a bit nocturnal. My eyes are unaccustomed to all this daylight.

QM: That explains the heavy-duty sunglasses. I thought you were just afraid of being recognized.
OW: Well, that's also part of it. There's always the danger of being spotted by some jealous wife. Some of them are a little psychotic, not to mention armed.

QM: Understandable. What made you pick such a dangerous line of work?
OW: I believe I have some deeply ingrained conviction that I am the ideal woman for every unhappy man I meet. Whenever a married man tells me that his wife doesn't understand him or that the magic has gone out of his marriage, I simply can't resist.

QM: That's interesting. How do you go about proving your superiority?
OW: In a variety of ways, depending on the man. In general, I continuously compliment his intelligence, wisdom and wit. I tell him he's the greatest lover I've ever known, never ask him to take out the garbage and become and avid fan of his favorite professional sports teams.

QM: That's all very well for him, but what's in it for you?
OW: Every married man promises me that he will eventually leave his wife to marry me, and we will live happily ever after. Of course, I know that is not going to happen, but I go along with it anyway. I am, after all, only the Other Woman. Those few who actually leave their wives usually marry someone else who was unwilling to take my role.

QM: You know, you're really an exceptionally attractive woman. My own marriage has been a sham for years. What are you doing after this interview?
OW: I'm available. Actually, you're really quite a hunk. Tell me about your interests. What would you like to do? I'll bet you're dynamite in the sack.

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