Average American
Average American was found by QuestionMan following an average search, through an
average town in an average neighborhood in an average home. Here, then, is the average
interview which resulted.
QuestionMan: If you don't mind my saying so, you
don't meet my Average American expectations. You're short, overweight, near-sighted,
balding and don't appear to be especially well-educated.
Average American: Well, excuse me! I'm the only me I can be. After all, the
rest of the country is in charge of who I am. I'm just a victim of statistics.
QM: Well, I've always considered myself sort of
average, but we don't bear much resemblance to each other.
AA: I hate to compliment you after you've done such a nice job of insulting me,
but you are obviously above average. You probably live in a $150,000 suburban home with a
devoted wife and two honor student children, drive a Lexus, have a college degree, hold a
rewarding professional job and gross $70,000 a year.
QM: Hey, that's a pretty good profile, although I
drive a BMW.
AA: You might have been viewed as "average" a decade or so ago, but
times have changed, and so has the Average American. My home might sell for $60,000 on a
really good day; I'm married to a chain-smoking, red-headed slacker; my two
teenagers spend as much time in jail as they do in school; I drive a 1989 Dodge, when it's
running; went to work as a shoe salesman right out of high school; and make no more than
$25,000 a year.
QM: And that's "average"?
AA: Afraid so. The Average American today is caught in a sort of "vicious
circle" of reduced quality of life and lowered expectations. Why, I consider it a
good month if I'm able to pay my mortgage and other expenses, make minimum payments on my
credit card bills and spend a couple of weekends with a six pack and a good video rental.
QM: This interview is starting to depress me, so
I'm going back to my surprisingly above-average lifestyle. Good luck with yours.
AA: Thanks. Enjoy yours while it lasts.
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