Competent Manager
This month's interview subject is commonly referenced in the corporate world but
rarely seen in real life. Yes, we're speaking of that living oxymoron known as the
Competent Manager.
QuestionMan: I can't tell you how
difficult it was to find you. I had begun to think that you were one of those "urban
legends."
Competent Manager: The ability to avoid potentially time-wasting
situations is one of my traits. Believe me, you would not have succeeded, had I not
decided to give one final interview before the end.
QM: The end?
CM: Yes, I'm afraid it's curtains for competent management in this country.
I've been on the endangered species list for more than two decades, but all efforts to
save my kind have failed. I'm the last of my breed, and I'm dying.
QM: I'm very sorry to hear that. What happened?
CM: I guess you could call it a natural de-selection process. Management has
seen increasing less capable individuals entering its ranks over the past 20 years or so.
Consequently, competent managers' attempts to pass skills and techniques to their
successors has met with dismal failure. The "Peter Principle" has entered the
endgame. Management personnel no longer rise to their individual levels of incompetence;
they enter at that level.
QM: That's pretty scary. Where are all the
competent people going?
CM: Most of them are going into more creative areas in their avoidance of
corporate ineptitude. I personally know a lot of bright young men and women who are
leading comparatively rich and fulfilling lives as writers, artists and street mimes.
QM: That would explain why mimes have gotten so
much better. What do you envision as the fate of corporate America if this trend
continues?
CM: Oh, it will definitely continue. It's gone too far to be reversed.
Incompetent management will continue to undervalue its employees as interchangeable and
easily replaceable cogs in their operations. Disillusioned workers will constantly move
from job to job in fruitless search of a management structure capable of comprehending and
appreciating their contributions. Rising employee turnover will continue to reduce output
quantity as well as quality. Meanwhile, management will hold an endless series of meetings
focusing on employee handbook revisions as the solution to production drops. In another 20
years, maybe less, I see the U.S. gross national product as being on a par with that of,
oh, say, Belize.
QM: That's harsh, but I guess you should know. Is
there an up side?
CM: Well, I guess the United States is destined to have the most comprehensive
employee handbooks in the world.
[ Home ]