Miss One True Love

Volume XIII
Issue 7
July 2010

QuestionLady is written and played by SL Stukey, herself an Obscure Celebrity of a sort. It is likely that somewhere, sometime, you have read something she has written, especially if you live in the Midwestern United States. She has been writing promotional material, instruction manuals, and other such everyday literature for many years (she'd say how many, if she could remember what year she started, it was 1989, or maybe 1991). She always thought she'd be a real writer someday, but she's not holding her breath anymore.

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Miss One True Love

In honor of Valentine’s Day, this month QuestionLady visits Miss One True Love. QuestionLady wanted to contact Miss One True Love’s male counterpart, Mr. One True Love, but was unable to track him down. Miss One True Love, however, was happy to be interviewed.

We met in Miss One True Love’s boudoir. It was exquisite, as was Miss One True Love herself. Both could be described as "Valentine’s Day meets Victoria’s Secret," but in a tasteful and attractive manner.

Miss One True Love: Welcome to my humble home.

QuestionLady: Thank you, Ms. One True Love.
MOTL (with a tinkly little laugh): Oh, no, no, no, dear, it’s Miss One True Love.

QL: You’re an old-fashioned girl, then.

(Note: from here on, consider MOTL: as answering every question with a little laugh, flirtatious wink, etc. QL isn’t going to bother typing them.)

MOTL: No, I’m not old-fashioned. I’m romantic.

QL: How is using ‘Miss’ romantic? Oh, hell, I don’t care, call yourself Ms., Miss or Mr., as far as I’m concerned.
MOTL: There’s no need to get cranky, dear.

QL: Let’s get to the heart of the interview. The one question that is on everybody’s mind is: What is the difference between you and ‘the One’? Most people these days seem to be looking for ‘the One’, rather than One True Love.
MOTL: I’m a romantic. ‘The One’ is vulgar, commercial and mercenary.

QL: What do you mean by that?
MOTL: Those unfortunate souls who search for ‘the One’, are approaching love somewhat like they were shopping for a car or other mercantile product.

QL: As in the phrase, ‘meat market.’
MOTL (wrinkling her delicate nose): You see what I mean by vulgar. So frustrating too, I imagine, shopping and shopping, trying to find the right make and model.

QL: How is finding One True Love different?
MOTL: Romance! One doesn’t look for One True Love, one just finds me. I’m the girl you glimpsed on the bus, that kooky college girlfriend, the lover who read all of Shakespeare’s sonnets to you in bed, or the girl you broke up with because it was ‘getting too serious.’

QL: I get the picture. But all of those are in the past tense. What about today, and the future? Where does One True Love fit in?
MOTL: But I am in the past. No one spends their life with their One True Love.

QL: Oh?
MOTL: No, (sigh), they always let me slip through their fingers, and spend the rest of their lives regretting it. It’s the romantic thing to do.

QL: But what about those who say they have married their One True Love?

QL: Really? What about those couples who stay together for decades and remain devoted to each other?
MOTL: They have resigned themselves to what must be, and settled for someone, perhaps even ‘the One’, because they couldn’t have me.

[long pause, while QL tries not to laugh, and to think of what to say next]

MOTL: But somewhere, in a box of faded letters, a flower pressed in an old book, a concert ticket in a desk drawer, or a restaurant menu tucked in a bookcase, there’s a token of remembrance to their One True Love. And every so often, when the cacophony of ‘the One’ dies down for a moment, they go to that token, take it out, and remember their One True Love.

QL (laughs): Well, I can see why you insist on ‘Miss’ then.
MOTL (face wrinkling in confusion): I don’t see what’s so funny. It’s romantic, sad, tragic even, but not funny.

QL: I can see where you’d think so. (But since QL was still stifling laughter, One True Love became offended.)
MOTL (dramatically): This interview is finished. I cannot endure such mockery. (tearfully) I must ask you to leave.

(QuestionLady, who doesn’t care much for weeping, decided she was right, and making apologetic noises, left Miss One True Love in her boudoir and returned, with relief, to the Globe-Guardian offices.)

Happy Valentine’s Day, heh, heh

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