The Geek
Since the dawn of time, school children at all levels have been ruthlessly
adept at identifying and segregating the geek from their society of "normals."
Well, guess who works for Ronald McDonald and who dangles the future of modern
civilization from his "Star Trek" keychain now?
QuestionMan: Let's start with a definition. What
makes you a geek? It must be more than that ratty "The Geeks Don't Want No
Greeks" T-shirt you're wearing.
The Geek: In a word, computers. The term "geek" has been around
for a long time, but it wasn't until the digitalization of America that today's true geek
developed. In fact, the label "computer geek" has become redundant.
QM: How does the geek differ from the nerd?
TG: Geeks are, like, the high-tech branch of the nerd family. Nerds are
cool, but their "things" may be something other than computers. Opinions vary.
You could say that all geeks are nerds, but not all nerds are geeks.
QM: So, if you spend a lot of time with a computer,
you're a geek?
TG: No way, man. Most people can run a few apps on their computers, but they
don't have a clue when something goes wrong. In order to be a bona fide geek, you've
got to be into computers 24/7. You know your hardware; you know your software. You don't
call tech support when something goes wrong; you are tech support.
QM: How does your command of computers play in the
job market?
TG: It's a major seller's market for geeks. The only problem is finding a
job where the "suits" back off enough to let you do your thing. I mean, we've
got to to their thing to some extent, but we want our jobs to be fun. Most suits are
incredibly dumb when it comes to computer systems. If they get in the way too much, it's
time to move on to a job where they don't.
QM: What exactly do you mean by "suits"?
TG: Bone-headed middle management, man. You know, the jocks, the frat
boys, the sorority sisters and the other "team players" who managed to stumble
through college with a C-minus average in business administration en route to becoming a
corporate hack. They don't get it, and they never will.
QM: Don't the suits resent your attitude?
TG: Sure, but they're coming to realize that they don't have much choice.
Without us, their looking at shutdown. They can fire us, but they'll just have to replace
us with another bunch of geeks, so why go through the hassle?
QM: That seems to put a lot of power in the hands
of the geeks. Are you using it for good or evil?
TG: We geeks tend to have an optimistic "Gene Roddenberry" view
of the future, and we have faith that technology can take us there. Despite the ignorance
of the suits and others who fear us and the advances of things like the web, we're here to
do good. Of course, we're not above engaging in a little mischievous evil along the way if
it contributes toward the greater good.
QM: That's an aspect of geek society probably best
left unexplored. Any truth to the perception that geeks are antisocial?
TG: Well, we don't usually meet in large numbers, unless you count Star
Trek conventions. We do a lot of "networking," but more often through the
internet than in person. We have the same needs for human contact as anyone else, but we
would rather hook up with someone who speaks geek. Not that we don't like hot babes like
Seven of Nine.
QM: You guys are totally awesome. Any chance that I
can be a geek?
TG: It has been said that some geeks are born, some aspire to become geeks
and some have geekdom thrust upon them. Personally, I think that anyone with a sharp mind
has geek potential, but it's up to the rest of society to hammer him or her into a geek.
If haven't been pushed into geekdom by the time you're out of high school, you're pretty
much stuck with being a geek wannabe. Sorry.
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