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Muppets
Plane Missing (Key West, Fla., May 16, 2020) -- A single-engine plane believed to be carrying three of America's most beloved personalities may have gone down off the northern coast of this resort island early this morning. The Cessna Skyhawk piloted by Kermit the Frog was expected to arrive at Key West International Airport at approximately 11 p.m. Reported on board when the plane took off from Naples, Fla., were Kermit's wife, Miss Piggy, and their close friend, Fozzie Bear. The trio were traveling to a family reunion planned for the following day in the Frog family compound on Key West. When their plane had not arrived by midnight, the Frogs contacted the U.S. Coast Guard and reported the aircraft overdue. After contacting other airports to which the plane might have gone, the Coast Guard began organizing a search and rescue effort. By dawn, boats and aircraft were systematically scanning the waters off the northern Key West coast. Police and volunteers were combing the shoreline for possible debris in fear of the worst. Radar contact with the plane was last made at about 10:50 p.m., according to a spokesman at Key West International Airport. At that time, the plane was at an altitude of 1,400 feet approximately two miles off the northern Key West coast. However, the previous radar sweep, made just 12 seconds earlier, had shown an altitude of 2,300 feet, which indicated that the plane may have been in a nosedive at the time it went off the radar screen. The Key West airport also received a brief message believed to have come from the missing aircraft at about the same time. Control tower personnel reported hearing a exclamation which sounded like "sheesh," accompanied by a high-pitched squeal in the background, before the radio transmission abruptly ceased.
GRIM VIGIL The Frog family is no stranger to tragedy. Kermit's father, Herman, was killed when Kermit was only 3 years old, speared by an Alabama hunter who, horrifically, severed, cooked and ate his father's legs. A brother, Kyle, a fighter pilot during the Vietnam War, was shot down and presumed dead in 1969. An uncle, Theodore, narrowly escaped death in another small plane accident 7 years ago. All of Kermit's other siblings never survived their polliwog stage. Many have spoken of the "Frog Family Curse." Kermit is best known as host of the syndicated Muppet Show and as a star of numerous Muppet feature films. With his sleek green lines, he was recently named the "sexiest bullfrog alive" by Amphibian Magazine. He and hot-tempered Miss Piggy had a stormy and well-publicized courtship, both on and off screen, during the Muppet Show television run from 1976 to 1981. Those close to the couple say that Miss Piggy has become much more sedate since the couple wed a little more than three years ago. All three missing Muppets were declared autonomous robotic entities (AREs) in 2009. As such, they are considered full-fledged American citizens, with all the rights, privileges and responsibilities of their human counterparts. Kermit has been a licensed pilot for about two years, the first and only ARE to earn his wings. Rescue Hopes
Fade (Key West, Fla., May 18, 2020) -- The world watched, waited and prayed for an eleventh-hour miracle, but as the second day of the search off the Florida coast neared an end, hopes dimmed that Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear had survived the crash of their small plane. "The waters off the Keys are warm, but it is unlikely that anyone, even a frog, could survive that much time in the sea," stated Rear Adm. Horatio Jones, heading the search for the U.S. Coast Guard. "Fake fur soaks up a lot of water in a short time. Even if the victims escaped from the aircraft cabin, their waterlogged fur would tend to weigh them down and pull them to the bottom." The search has been concentrated in the center of the debris field found approximately a half-mile north of the island. Articles recovered thus far have included a luggage tag bearing Miss Piggy's name, a piece of the plane's fixed landing gear and, sadly, Fozzie's hat. The tag and landing gear segment had washed up on shore. Most of the other debris was plucked from the surface by searching watercraft. Kermit's Cessna Skyhawk was expected to arrive at Key West International Airport at 11 p.m. Sunday en route from Naples, Fla., to a week-long family reunion planned at the Frog family compound. The family contacted the U.S. Coast Guard after the plane was about an hour overdue. The massive rescue effort began at sunrise Monday. Participants have included aircraft and boats from the Coast Guard, Air Force National Guard, Civilian Air Patrol members from three states and other local authorities. The search quickly narrowed to the area in which debris was discovered. Searchers continued working throughout the night using sonar and infrared detection equipment without success.
FALSE HOPE Television networks went to live, 24-hour coverage of the search, seizing upon every scrap of information passed their way as they ran and reran whatever stock footage of Kermit, Miss Piggy and Fozzie they could secure. One network anchor was surprised, while obtaining an update, to learn that a search spokesman appeared to be passing information he had gained from watching televised coverage on another network. Media at every level across the country did their best to establish a connection to Kermit, Miss Piggy and Fozzie. Time Magazine quickly revamped plans for its next edition to feature a commemorative photo montage of the missing Muppets on its cover. At the other end of the mass media spectrum, the Standard Report, a weekly newspaper in rural Iowa, featured a front-page interview with the treasurer of the local Muppets Fan Club, Myrna Gladstone, and a photo of her autographed Kermit poster. Small plane pilots and aviation experts were in high demand, as media reporters sought opinions on what might have caused the crash. Not to be outdone by bigger competitors, the Standard Report featured a richly detailed analysis by Floyd Taylor, a 14-year-old with extensive experience flying a radio-controlled model of the Cessna Skyhawk. Too Much Plane
for a Frog? (Washington, D.C., May 18, 2020) -- What could have caused one of the most reliable small planes ever built to suddenly plunge into the sea? Was it the weather? Equipment failure? Pilot error? Experts here feel that the crash may simply be a case of pilot-plane mismatch. "The Cessna Skyhawk could have been too much for Kermit to handle," said Dr. Piper Saratoga, a former investigator with the National Transportation Safety Board. "He was a relatively new pilot who had earned his pilot's license flying smaller aircraft. The cockpit of the Cessna might have been a little too big for someone of his stature." The Cessna, which retailed for approximately $240,000 with standard equipment when purchased last year, had been specially fitted to accommodate Kermit, allowing the spindly-limbed autonomous robotic entity (ARE) to reach all controls. Saratoga speculated, however, that Kermit's own set of control rods and wires may have limited his response ability if the plane began an unexpected maneuver. "The plane could have entered what we call a 'dead man's spiral' before Kermit could react," Saratoga said. "It's a common cause of airplane crashes involving many pilots considerably more experienced than Kermit."
STURDY PLANE Kermit was flying under Visual Flight Rules at the time of the accident. Because his height made his view of the horizon questionable, he had been required to qualify for instrument flight. Conditions were slightly hazy on the northern approach to Key West, but visibility was three to five miles. Kermit had not filed a flight plan, which was not required. Kermit Spurned Media That Made Him (Hollywood, Calif., May 18, 2020) -- Show business gave him life, but Kermit the Frog had in recent years consistently declined offers sent his way. "I've had more than my allotted 15 minutes of fame," Kermit told reporters after his wedding to Miss Piggy on Jan. 1, 2017, on Key West. "All we want to do now is live our lives as privately as we can. It's time to pass the torch to younger Muppets." Kermit has since demonstrated his resolve to stay out of the public eye on numerous occasions. NBC offered the Green One the Tonight Show host spot when Jay Leno stepped down in 2008. Kermit said no. He has reportedly passed on countless movie scripts, including a guaranteed trilogy of martial arts action flicks. Not surprisingly, he and his wife just last month rejected an offer to appear on a Jerry Springer show featuring "Pigs and the Frogs Who Love Them." The entertainment industry has not been alone in courting the reclusive frog. The Republican and Democratic parties have frequently been reported as approaching Kermit to run for a variety of state and federal offices. On the record, he declined an appointment from the Ventura administration as director of the Department of the Interior Fish and Wildlife Service.
APPEARANCES
RARE Kermit and Miss Piggy have lived their lives as discreetly as possible after purchasing an fallow, 650-acre plantation in the heart of Georgia. Walled and tightly guarded, the Wilkinson County estate has since been turned into a wildlife sanctuary frequented by other veteran Muppets seeking temporary respite from public life. Fozzie Bear, their closest friend and constant companion, is a semi-permanent estate resident. The couple cause no stir when they bicycle into nearby Irwinton, a community of less than 1,000 serving as the county seat, for groceries and other supplies. The town residents have grown accustomed to their famous neighbors and respect their need for privacy. Local merchants delight in telling reporters and photographers who come to town in search Kermit and Miss Piggy that they have never heard of them. "Our thoughts have been with them since the moment we heard they were missing," said Samuel Drucker, owner of the Irwinton General Store. "We're all praying for a miracle." Kermit, Miss Piggy and Fozzie all began life as hand-operated puppets. Though the years, as computer and robotic technology advanced, they became increasingly complex. To meet the special effects demands of television and feature films, they became animatronic, then, fully robotic. With the addition of advanced artificial intelligence components to their programming, they "evolved" into autonomous robotic entities (AREs), which were granted U.S. citizenship status by an act of Congress in 2008. Muppets
Bodies (Key West, Fla., May 21, 2010) -- The search ended sadly, as expected, early this morning with the location of plane wreckage containing the bodies of Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear. Navy divers found the plane fuselage on a coral formation approximately 50 feet below the surface just off the Key West northern shoreline about 300 yards southwest of the main debris field. The bodies of all three passengers were still strapped into their seats in the plane cabin. The bodies were brought to the surface and taken to Key West International Airport. From there, they were to be flown to Los Angeles for autopsies performed by Jim Henson Company Creature Shop Muppet Labs engineers. A spokesman for the company declined comment on final plans for the trio, although he did not rule out the possibilities of reconstruction or complete replacement of all three Muppets, following a "suitable period of mourning." "Of course, they won't be the exactly same," the spokesman said, "The extent to which their personalities and memories can be restored will depend on the dates of their personal computer data backups." The wreckage of Kermit's Cessna Skyhawk was hoisted to the surface in one piece for examination. Federal investigators will look at the fuselage and other debris recovered from the ocean surface and shoreline in an effort to determine what caused the fatal crash. The investigation could take as long as a year, a spokesman for the National Transportation Safety Board said. The Frog, Piggy and Bear families mourned privately and made preparations for a joint memorial service not open to the public. Fans gathered silently at churches and other spiritual centers throughout the nation to grieve in their own ways. A mountain of flowers and other memorials piled more than 8 feet high at the gates to the couple's Georgia plantation will be removed and distributed among area charities, according to local authorities. "While the outcome of our search is regrettable, we feel the extensive effort was justified in bringing closure to these three unfortunate families," declared Rear Adm. Horatio Jones, who headed the search for the U.S. Coast Guard. The Skyhawk piloted by Kermit was expected to arrive at Key West International Airport at approximately 11 p.m. May 16. The trio were traveling to a family reunion to begin the following day at the Frog family compound on Key West. When the plane had not arrived by midnight, the Frogs contacted the U.S. Coast Guard and reported the aircraft overdue. Radar contact with the plane was last made at about 10:50 p.m., according to a spokesman at Key West International Airport. At that time, the plane was at an altitude of 1,400 feet approximately two miles off the northern Key West coast. However, the previous radar sweep 12 seconds earlier had shown an altitude of 2,300 feet, which indicated the the plane may have been in a nosedive at the time it went off the radar screen. The world watched, waited and prayed for an eleventh-hour miracle, but as the second day of the search off the Florida coast neared an end, hopes dimmed that Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear had survived the crash of their small plane. While the investigation may never determine the exact reason for the crash, the consensus among aviation experts is that the Skyhawk and Kermit may have been a poor match. "The Cessna Skyhawk could have been too much for Kermit to handle," said Dr. Piper Saratoga, a former investigator with the National Transportation Safety Board. "He was a relatively new pilot who had earned his pilot's license flying smaller aircraft. The cockpit of the Cessna might have been a little too big for someone of his stature." The Cessna had been specially fitted to accommodate Kermit, allowing the spindly-limbed autonomous robotic entity (ARE) to reach all controls. Saratoga speculated, however, that Kermit's own set of control rods and wires may have limited his response ability if the plane began an unexpected maneuver. Kermit has been a licensed pilot for about two years. He was flying under Visual Flight Rules at the time of the accident. Because his height made his view of the horizon questionable, he had been required to qualify for instrument flight. Conditions were slightly hazy on the northern approach to Key West, but visibility was three to five miles. Kermit the Frog had in recent years steadfastly avoided the public eye. He declined movie scripts, television appearances, political offers and commercial endorsements. Kermit and Miss Piggy lived as discreetly as possible on a Georgia plantation they had transformed into a wildlife refuge. The flags at the Wilkinson County Courthouse in nearby Irwinton were being flown at half-mast today to mark the passing of the beloved threesome. [ Home ] |
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