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Virtual Reporters (Burlington, WI, Nov. 1, 2000) -- Intense efforts to rescue Globe-Guardian virtual reporters trapped in the future continued here today, as the November publication deadline arrived. The complete Globe-Guardian staff of correspondents, with the single exception of the writer of this story, was virtually marooned in the near-distant future on Oct. 27, 2000, when a catastrophic power failure struck the Projection Enhanced Expeditionary Kinetic Image News Gathering (PEEKING™) suite at Globe-Guardian international headquarters. Power to the high-security suite was restored immediately after Wisconsin Electric was contacted and a quickly negotiated down payment on the outstanding Globe-Guardian account balance was electronically transferred. Getting the reporters back has proven much more difficult. "I want to emphasize that our reporters' bodies are still very much alive," emphasized Rudy Tutetoot, Globe-Guardian professional spokesman. "Although their PEEKING™ sessions were never intended to continue for more than a few hours at a time, we have brought in the necessary life support equipment to keep our boys and girls going until we solve this problem. They may not be as 'fresh' as they would like when that finally happens, but it will happen." The key to the problem appears to be a set of dynamic library link files which was apparently corrupted by the power failure to the Windows 95-based PEEKING™ system. Restoring the files, however, has thus far eluded Globe-Guardian technical staff members, who have been unable to find the original Windows 95 installation disc. "We have attempted to go outside for help," Tutetoot attempted to explain, "but it seems that few among the living remember Windows 95, and those who do have long since committed their installation discs to plastic recycling bins." At the time disaster struck, all reporters had been virtually dispatched into the future at five-year increments to research possible timelines for the Blimp Spotters Brigade. Their experiences were to be assembled into a comprehensive report for the new Globe-Guardian BSB news section. "We assume that they all got there," Tutetoot assumed. "We promise to have some great stories on the looming blimp menace, once our reporters' virtual selves have been retrieved, their physical selves have hit the showers, and their reunited selves are fully recovered from their ordeals," he promised. |
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