Volume XI
Issue 5
May 2008

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The Globe-Guardian
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ISSN: 1525-6316

Poisonous Possibility
Question: I had a dream last night about an attack on US soil using blimps to distribute biochemical weapons against US citizens.  How possible is it that something like this could occur?
AnswerMan: An alert (exact color to be determined by the Department of Homeland Security) question. Despite years of tracking these lumbering gasbags of the skies, the Blimp Spotters Brigade, an organization which enjoys the whole-hearted support of the Globe-Guardian and its legendary staff, has learned precious little concerning the true intent of the ever-more bountiful blimp.
    Yes, these airships present themselves as harmless advertising vehicles offering aerial views of various sports events. Yet, these functions appear to fall far short of justifying the existence of the blimp. Hence, the long unanswered question: What are these blimps really up to?
    While we cannot say, with any degree of certainty, that a particular blimp (or crop duster, for that matter) is carrying a load of biochemical death with a wild-eyed terrorist at the helm, we also cannot rule out that possibility. For now, the only answer remains -- eternal vigilance, my friend. Eyes to the skies!