Celebration Success

Volume XI
Issue 7
July 2008

Celebration Success

I am overjoyed to report that Festivus, the Church of the Rotate Your Envelope Stock's First High Holy Holiday of Optional Observation, was a huge success.

Many of our congregation exercised their options to observe Festivus on its official day, May 20. In keeping with the CRYES standing policy of "anything goes," however, members remain free to observe this Seinfeldian holiday on any day during the year.

First prize for Festivus yard decorations went to the Adama Greene family. Despite the short notice, the Greenes managed to fill their modest Country Club Estates trailer court lot with a vast assortment of Festivus regalia, including uncounted strings of sequentially blinking lights and a 30-foot aluminum pole, from which hundreds of gaily colored junk mail envelopes symbolizing CRYES flapped merrily in the slightest of breezes. The family also employed an impressive sound system, broadcasting their considerable collection of grievances and a snappy selection of Pantera tunes to their neighbors around the clock. The Greenes, I'm happy to say, are coming close to resolving their differences with the Country Club Estates Property Owners Association.

Top honors for "Feats of Strength" went to Larry Sanderson and his lovely wife, Darryl. With their two children, Darryl and Darryl, the Sandersons organized, hosted and refereed a large-scale family reunion cow-tipping tournament. Winning tippers advanced to the significantly more challenging pig-tipping event, of which Larry was crowned champion. The Sandersons extend their thanks everyone from the congregation who helped with the post-tournament hosedown and cleanup.

The first annual CRYES Mesonauta Festivus fish fry drew a large and appreciative crowd on May 21. Athena Jensen and Cassiopeia Spang, kitchen crew co-captains, served up more than 100 pounds of fresh deep-fried Mesonauta Festivus, along with generous portions of coleslaw and potato wedges, topped by delicious anchovy cheesecake to all comers. They can't wait for the next Festivus fry.

Bless you for coming to CRYES, and may your God, Goddess, Gods or Goddesses be always watching your back.

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